The Curse Of Shared Failures

Where Failure = Death

Image created on canva by author

This winter, you won’t have any food because you failed to hunt or gather food for your family, tribe, or whatever. This idea of survival dates back to the Ice Age. The Ice Age ended thousands of years ago, but the idea persists. Your brain instinctively knows that if you fail, you will die.

The good thing is you don’t have to hunt now. The bad thing is you have to do more than that. Today, survival is measured by your social status, and that is the curse of shared failures-or shared dreams.

You don’t have any dreams of your own. You see things and then imagine yourself. You see people having fun on a destination holiday, and you wonder, “What if I was there?” You see rich people, famous people, and people who have it all.

No one has it-all of it.

Then you dream, “What if?”

And you have to fulfill your parents’ dreams, then social dreams or goals of being a perfect citizen in society. Maybe your friends dream of a band where you are the lead guitarist.

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

Ninety-nine percent of the goals are not yours. You don’t even know what a goal is. Society tells you what a goal is, and why you must have one?

Your body knows its goal: food, water, shelter. Maybe your mind does too. Then there’s the part of you-or whatever’s left-that seeks goals outside of yourself. You want people to validate and approve of it.

And then you fail, or at least fear failing. Maybe you fail others, your parents, friends, or whoever is there. You’re back in the Ice Age, where you would die if you didn’t achieve your goals.

Don’t worry-you won’t die.

Watch kids. They don’t have any goals. They don’t care about society, friends, or family. They don’t plan. They don’t wish to be happy once they get there.

Kids just do what they want to do, and they’re always busy doing it. Always exploring what happens next.

Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash

You are complete. You have everything. You are everything.

You don’t have to seek something or be anything that is accepted in society.

Be a kid. Fail. And try something new the next day.

Originally published at https://derivations.substack.com.